On the Contrary

 

I’m so excited today. After so many days of hiding in the house for fear of gas prices, my husband and I took our family out to an A’s baseball game. It was a Monday night. And it was long awaited. I mean to be out as a family enjoying ourselves in fresh air, dressed casually, and be as loud as we wanted! Generally, my days are based on strategy. My husband works nights so during the day I have to protect his sleep. That’s no easy task with little ones. My duties as a mom are no more difficult than other moms but I also know that I have more children than average. At the ballgame, I was free from schedules. We ate our snacks and nachos and filled up with our large drinks and I did not have to clean a thing when we were done. But that’s not really the highight of it all. The highlight was being able to be clear minded and simply enjoy where I was, who I was with and being myself.

In the last few months, I’ve met some powerhouse women who are dear to my heart.  Even since the beginning of this year, I have learned that it is truely ok and preferred that I be myself in everything I do. My old thinking was that I could truely be myself with just close friends and in other situations I had to act a certain role. For example, when I worked at a retail store, I was quiet, listened, and gave no opinions of my own. Why? I was the “worker, follower, or servant” aiding  and helping to fulfill the owner’s dream.  It was not until the day that I asked my boss what my title was. “What exactly would I say if someone asked me what my position was at the store?” I asked her because she was the new owner and kept me on becuase I was an assesst because she found me trustworthy. A new realization of myself awaken. My boss said “You can call yourseIf whatever you want.” I mean really, I had to think about it. I was running the store myself. I fulfilled the duties of opening and closing the store, stocking shelves, answering calls, cashier, customer service, and making bank desposits. It was time to change my mentality. I wasn’t just a little worker who smiled at the customers but I was actually running the store. Now, I had to call myself who I really was and am. From then on I was Assistant Manager to the boss and was also known as the “Brains” behind the business. My relationships this year have been so dear to my heart because we’ve cultivated an online atmosphere of letting each other know that the best thing to do and be is YOURSELF. Too long have I lived by what I thought others expected of me.  What a journey I have gone through to learn the contrary.

It’s been many years since I quit that job but I held onto that revelation. My personal thoughts while at the game brought me back to that revelation where it first started. Sit back. Enjoy the game. Enjoy who you are with. Enjoy being YOU.

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